Once upon a time...

Once upon a time an old man was sitting on a park bench, and he saw a little boy sitting next to him. The little boy was eating a bag of candy, and the man noticed how the caramel, chocolate, and taffy was sticking to the boy's teeth.

He leaned over and said, "Little boy, I'm a dentist. I think you should know that if you eat that much candy it will not only rot your teeth out. It will be bad for your health and make you die sooner. Candy just isn't good for you."

The boy, not bothering to swallow his current mouthful of sweets first, replied, "I know that isn't true, old man. My Grandfather ate a pound of chocolate every day of his life, and he lived a long life. He didn't even lose his teeth before he died. Do you know what his secret was?"

The dentist, surprised at such contrarian wisdom from so small a child, asked, "What was his secret?"

The boy smiled and said, "He knew how to mind his own fucking business."

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With the preceding story in mind, please read this article on Bush's notions of spreading democracy to Cuba after Castro's demise.

Possible next step toward an HIV cure.

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?chanID=sa003&articleID=737AB56E-E7F2-99DF-382B756D1860EACA

Some interesting info on the great plague of our time...

"Scientists have constructed a custom enzyme that reverses the process by which the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) inserts its genetic material into host DNA, suggesting that treatment with similar enzymes could potentially rid infected cells of the virus. In tests on cultured human tissue, the mutated enzyme, Tre recombinase, snipped HIV DNA out of chromosomes."

I remember Texas as being not so bad...

http://bayareahouston.blogspot.com/2007/02/its-official-texas-worst-place-to-live.html

I have a lot of family in Texas, so this story struck me as funny in a sad kind of way. Here's a snippet:

"If you haven't been paying attention, or your head has been stuck in the sand for the last 6 years, or you've been too busy working making ends meet and keeping your kids in school, then you probably haven't notice that Texas is now the worst place to live in the United States."

Makes me sad :(

Bloganoia

I've spoken to more than a few people that are a little paranoid about blogging. It's a familiar story, and one that I've thought about myself on an occasion or two. The scenario is simple. You blog about how your boss is a moron, your boss Google's you and reads your blog, you get fired. It's an understandable fear. It doesn't even have to be that direct.

Let's say you love pot. You mention in a blog that you and a buddy were smoking a joint. Boss+Google=You get drug tested and fired.

Or, let's say you're an atheist/Satanist/Buddhist/Anything that isn't Southern Baptist. Your Dad/Uncle/Mom/whoever is crazy religious. You blog about how you can't stand Jerry Falwell, and how he's why you aren't Christian. Relative+Google=You written out of somebody's will.

Or, let's say your girl/boyfriend is being a bitch. You, in a moment of frustration, blog about how they are being a bitch. They read your blog and then dump you.

Or, let's say you're gay. Your family doesn't know. Your MySpace page says "Homosexual." Badabing, badaboom, family shitstorm.

Something just doesn't seem right about all of this. We're afraid that the world will find out who we are and will disapprove. We're determined to tell the world what we think it wants to hear. Does that actually get anyone ahead? Most of the successful people I've met have been anything but bootlickers. They speak their mind. They offer ideas. They are opinionated assholes, for the most part. They don't snivel and slink in the shadows and hope nobody disapproves of them.

Bloganoia is a symptom of a far greater fear. That fear is that if the world learns who we really are then we'll be cut from the herd. If certain people learn that we don't like/agree with them then they will be mad. I'd imagine it goes back to a childhood fear resembling, "If Mommy/Daddy learn that I think they are a Bitch/Asshole they won't love me anymore." It is so much bullshit.

Anyone so fickle as to dissolve a relationship based on something they read in a blog deserves to be surrounded by all the sycophantic yes-men they can find. Mature adults somehow learn to cope with unpleasant truths all the time. A good manager knows that his employees usually think he's an asshole, and yet somehow that knowledge doesn't cause him to fire everyone on the spot. Most grownups know that there are gay people, and people of other religions in the world. The mature, sane ones learn to deal with it. Only a nutjob expects everyone they meet to kowtow to their tastes.

There's a website called Twitter.com where people post little blurbs about what they're doing. The first one I read was by a guy named Travis, and went, "Home, watching news, smoking a bowl." GASP! What if (random asshole here) sees that?! They might get mad!

Yeah. They might.

"Perfect" isn't necessarily a good thing.

I was asked to be in a play by my cousin today. The last time he asked me was months ago, and the character was a slender (read: skinny), geeky, social retard. He said I was perfect for the part. He said I made the character breathe. I think it was because I wear glasses and am an unashamed geek. At any rate, I did the play. It was a pain in the ass, but when it was over I felt some minor twinge of accomplishment.

So, I visited him today upon his invitation. He's doing a play called "Sordid Lives." This is, much like the last one, about a bunch of small-town rubes doing idiotic things to make the audience laugh. Keep in mind that I live in a small town. I think these plays are my cousin's idea of an enormous practical joke. He's screaming to all of St. George, "I think you're morons, and to prove the point I'm mocking you for your own entertainment!" I'm not sure what's sadder, that no one is offended or that scarcely anyone noticed.

The part he wants me to play is that of a handsome, effeminate, gay man who, at the end of the play, comes out of the closet to his mother (at their grandmother's funeral). The character has few lines, and most of them are some version of "Mom, I'm gay." My cousin says I'm perfect for the part. I read a few lines, and he said I make the character breathe. I think it's because I can pronounce the word "effeminate" (not "effim'net"). Also, truth be told, I am a bit effeminate. I move my hands around a bunch when I talk and all that jazz. Even so, I really have no interest in doing this play.

I've lived in this town my entire life, and I have no intention of getting on a stage and claiming to be gay for no real reason. Is this sexual insecurity? You're damned right it is! He tells me, "It's just a character." Sure, but it's my mouth those words are coming out of. That wouldn't be bad enough to keep me from doing the part, but the play isn't very funny. I watched a DVD version of it and found it pretty silly. The character he wants me to play could safely be edited out of the entire play if the writer hadn't been trying to make his play "About Something."

In the original play this character has numerous scenes where he's talking to his therapist about how fucked up he is and how stupid his small town life and family are. It's really whiny. Nonetheless, it provides a sober counterpoint to all the zany hijinks that are happening back home. My cousin, in the name of sparing the audience from all this frightfully dull whining, chopped those scenes out, but allowed the character's resolution (Mom, I'm gay) in the play. The end result is a slew of over the top redneck jokes capped off with some guy being gay for no reason. Strunk & White must be rolling around in their respective graves.

Lastly, the parts that I'm "perfect for" make me wonder about my cousin's view of me. Slender, handsome, well-spoken. Okay, those things are good. Geeky, effeminate, socially retarded, whiny. Okay, those things aren't so good. Do I really want to be perfect for this stuff?

Buh bye MySpace. Hello Blogger.

This is post #1 on the new blog. I don't actually have anything to say, but I like being prepared.

Hrm...as a first post this one is rather anticlimactic.

Well, this blog is a continuation of my old MySpace blog located at http://blog.myspace.com/witzelsucht
I'm sure I'll find some stuff to bitch about sooner or later.